Honesty...

Ok, so I just got home from my morning run (oops, just reread this and realized it sounds like I am going out to run every morning. No, I am a school bus driver and have just finished my morning bus run). I get up about 5:15 am and go to work and then get home about 9:30 then go back in at noon and get home about 3:45. So, this gives me just a couple hours during the day to get stuff done. Today I had to go up and pick up some stuff to eat. This morning I am having about a cup of grapes, a banana, and half of a navel orange. I got me some fresh vegetables for lunch and to have with my dinner. Tonight I will make fried chicken (yes I said fried chicken) and have a little bit of potatoes with it and my raw vegetables. My fiance will eat most of it, trust me. I am thinking that if I stick with just one chicken drumstick and have the rest as I've said then I won't do too bad. It is like I have said before, I have to do this slowly. What I am doing now might even be too much too soon, but only time will tell on that.

I have not yet found me a calorie counter but I am going to see about finding one today. That way I will be able to keep track of how many calories and fat, etc. that I consume in a day and be able to see what I need to cut down on or cut out completely. One good thing is that about 99% of the time I only drink water. I do have a hot chocolate now and then but I don't drink any soft drinks anymore. If we go out to eat I get a lemonade, so I figure in that area I am probably fairly safe.

Today I am going to take my measurements. This is why this post is called "Honesty" because I don't really want to post those amounts but if I am going to do this I must be honest, not only with myself, but with all of you as well. So, here goes:

Weight: 240 lbs.
Waist: 49 1/2" (done around my belly button)
Breast: 52"
Below Breast: 45"
Hips: 47"
Right Thigh: 23 1/2"
Left Thigh: 24"

You are probably a bit shocked about my measurements. Well, as for my thighs, I have always had small legs. I carry all my weight in my middle and I have no hips so those measurements there are fat, obviously. I am built, seriously, very "straight". Most women have hips that give them curves, I don't, never have. I am built like my mother. But it seems that all my weight ends up in the middle of me. That, and on my back. Ewwww I hate back fat. As you can see I have also added my weight in there. I was going to add my height to the stats just to give you a better idea of it all, but it seems odd to do that. So, I will just tell you here. I am 5'9" tall. So yea, I am tall, but that is really no excuse for my weight. Most people insist there is no way I  weigh what I say I do. Well, what they look at and think is hips, isn't, it is all fat.

So, anyway, I was totally honest about my measurements. Believe me, that didn't come easy for me. But I am going to try my darndest to stay as honest as possible. Right now it isn't so hard because no one has seen this blog except me, as far as I know anyway, but later when I know people are reading, it will get harder.

Still want to post a picture of me so you all can see exactly what I am talking about. Now that I am back to work and the kids are back in school, I have more privacy to go do that.

Also, this entry is called "Honesty" for another reason: I do not want people posting comments that tell me stuff that isn't true! Seriously. If you think I look like crap...say so. You won't hurt my feelings because I KNOW what I look like. I live with this body every day. Now later, if and when the weight starts coming off, sure I'd love some encouraging words like telling me I'm looking better. I am just told so often that "You're not fat" "You don't need to lose weight" etc. etc. That is a load of crap and we all know it. I know they say it because they care, but in the end it probably hurts me more than helps me. So, it's time to buck up and listen to the truth. I hope I will get that from any of you who post.

Thanks!!