A New Year, An Old Dream

So, today is January 1, 2011, and the start of not just a new year, but hopefully a new me.

My name is Michelle, and I am hoping that by keeping this blog/journal that I can get the inspiration that I need to lose weight. I also hope that in doing this that perhaps I can also inspire others.

I am 46 years old, and I really need to lose weight. As of today, and as of this moment, I weigh 240 pounds. That is PATHETIC!! I hate the way I look, and I hate the way I feel. However, I fully intend to be as honest about everything here as I can possibly be. This won't be easy for me because there is so much about my lifestyle that I am, frankly, not proud of. For instance, how in the world did I ever let myself get this big?? How? Because I am lazy. Plain and simple. Also, I am not happy with the way my house looks, and therefore I do not even want to get up and do things.

So today I began my journey. I began with cleaning out some of the things in this cluttered house that I am just so sick of looking at. That is just step one. There will be so much more to come....as long as I stick with it. I am hoping that by doing this blog that it will give me the incentive to do it, if for no other reason that just because I have made it so potentially public. I wanted to post a "before" picture, and may do that as soon as I figure out how.

Right now, no one knows that I have started this journal. No one knows that I have begun this JOURNEY except for me and my fiance. And for the time being that is how I intend to keep it. I have found that if others know, whether it is my kids, my family, or my co-workers, everyone tries to be supportive but in the end it usually just makes it more hard on me when I fail. This time I talked to my fiance and asked him for his support, which he has always been so very good at giving, and he, as usual, has agreed. Knowing what a wonderful man I have in my life helps. I know he loves me for me, but I also know that he would not worry so much about me if I lost the weight.

The reason this entry is entitled "A New Year, An Old Dream" is simply because I have tried in the past and failed. I am hoping that this time I will have more success. Do I expect to lose 100 pounds in a year? Absolutely not. In the past that was one of my biggest issues: I expected too much of myself. This time, thanks to a blog I found on here, http://losingweightafter45isabitch.blogspot.com/ , I have differnt expectations. I need to stop expecting the same results that I got before I turned 40, and realize that I am older now and my body is not what it was back then. The writer of this blog has already inspired me, and I will continue to read her blog and hope that I can obtain as much insight as possible to help me along my journey. So, although I do not know her name I want to thank her because her blog, what I have read of it so far, has been a help to me and giving me the nudge I needed to try again.

In this blog I am going to use it as my Weight Loss Diary. I am going to keep track of my food, calories, fat intake, etc. Also, I am going to keep track of my exercise. I have a bad back and bad knees, but I can still walk, and walk I shall do. That was my first move toward this goal today was to clean out my bedroom so that I could put my treadmill in there where I have more opportunities to use it. I initially had it out in the living room area so that I could watch tv while I walked, but I have to turn the tv up too loud and it disturbs my fiance, so I want it in the other room where I can turn up the tv and also not feel self-concious doing my workouts.

I hope others will follow me and help inspire me as I hope I can inspire them. Let's see if I can start today and continue on my journey with some success. As I said earlier, I do not expect to lose 100 pounds in a year, in fact, I have set no numerical goal. My "goal" is to lose weight, plain and simple. If I start seeing some of the weight coming off, then perhaps I will set a realistic goal for myself. Until then, it is just going to be to start to change my eating habits and my exercise habits.

So, Happy New Year everyone and let's hope we all succeed in our endeavors. Thanks for joining me.