Haven't Given Up

I don't want anyone to think I have given up here, because I haven't. I have just been really busy with school that's all. However, I am sticking with eating fruits and veggies all day and then just having whatever we happen to be having for dinner, although I am still mostly cooking our meals instead of doing takeout. Only done takeout I think three times since I started this. That is wayyyyy less than before, when we did three in a week at the very least. So far I have lost 12 pounds. That is far from being enough, but it's a heck of a good start. Once I get more time I inted to keep up on this a lot better than I have been.

Lemon "Tea"

Ok, so there was a lemon "tea" that the woman on one of the blogs I follow. I tried it one morning, and it wasn't so great. I used a wedge of lemon but I do not think I let it steep long enough. Plus, I didn't add any kind of sweetener. So yesterday I made it again, this time I made sure the water was plenty hot enough and I let it steep for quite a while. Plus, I added a little bit of honey to it. It wasn't too bad. Today, I actually used a half a lemon, cut into two wedges, and added the honey. I am drinking it right now and it is actually pretty good. And I must say that it certainly does seem to help "move things along". The only problem that I might have with it is when it decided to get things moving. Will not be good if I am driving along on the bus when it occurs. lol
I am hoping to see some results much sooner than that, since I have a couple hours before I have to be back on the bus.

So I haven't been eating as many fruits and vegetables the last few days. That is not because I don't want to but simply due to budget issues. I get my first paycheck since being back to work tomorrow (and it is going to be a good one, too) so I will be able to go shopping. However, I have been still watching what I eat. I have been having bran cereal for breakfast, some fruits and veggies for lunch, and then a decent dinner. It is working, too. I have lost almost 10 pounds since starting this. And yesterday I stepped on the scales just for the heck of it AFTER I had eaten, and it still shows that I have lost weight. So I am excited to see what the scale says on Saturday morning when I step on them to record my loss. I did not post for last weeks weight loss simply because I wanted to make sure it was for real. If it all stays off until this Saturday THEN I will feel confident enough to post it. Unfortunately, I have not had time to jump on and record everything I have eaten each day. A couple more weeks and I should have more time, once I am done this horrible algebra class.

Ok, back to the grind. I promise to keep posting.

Been a few days...

It has been a few days since I last posted. I have been busy with my schoolwork. Algebra is a tough subject for me, so this week back to school I have had to focus on that. However, I only have it for a few more weeks and then I will have more time. After this class is over I will be taking more Psychology classes and since those are relatively easy for me it will give me more time for other stuff.

I have actually been doing quite well this week. I weighed in yesterday and I have lost about 7 pounds. I am trying to keep both my breakfast and lunch meals meat free. Mostly fruits and vegetables, although I have had Bran cereal for a couple of breakfasts. The problem that I am having is that the fruits and vegetables make me extremely gassy, so that is a problem I have had to deal with this week. I am hoping that my body will adjust. For the time being I have been taking some gas relief pills, which seem to help some.

I have been keeping watermellon, bananas, grapes and other fruits in the house to munch on. As I stated when I first started this, I am not out to lose a bunch of weight all at once. Sure, that would be awesome, but it just isn't realistic and it wouldn't last. So I still have meat for dinner, but I am eating less at that meal than I used to. Also, I am drinking water all the time, just as I have for the last few years, but I am also drinking V8 juice plus fruit juices as well.

I can say that these foods have certainly gotten things "moving along". Which is good because that is a problem that I have battled for the last few years as well. So anything that can help me out with that certainly makes me feel a bit better.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and let everyone know that I am still on this journey. I just had to take a little detour this week. Chances are that until I finish this Algebra class I probably won't find too much time to post, except maybe on Sundays because normally everything is done for the week ahead of time. This coming week, which starts tomorrow I will have a quiz that I will need to work on. With quizzes I am not able to get the extra help that I can get with other assignments so it makes for a very long week for me. I am hoping that the extra work I did this past week will come in handy and help me out a lot. That way I will have more time to focus on my blog.

Have a great week and I will post whenever I get the chance.

End of Day 2

Today I started back to school so tonight has been busy. I had to get my homework done (algebra ick) and that took me quite a while. However, I made supper tonight and was pleasantly surprised when my fiance had some cucumbers with dip and a small glass of V8 juice with it. We have been together a long time and I have never seen him drink V8, so this was really nice.

We had the left over fried chicken from last night, along with potatoes and gravy again. This time I had half of a cucumber with dip with it instead of the other raw vegetables. I also realized that maybe I did not eat as much dip earlier today as I thought because this time I actually scooped out 2 tablespoons of the dip and it turns out to be quite a lot actually.

Anyway, my intake for today was:

Breakfast:                Calories                  Fat
6 oz yogurt                     80                     0
1 cup grapes                  110                   .3
1/2 orange                      35                   .2
1 banana                       105                   .4

Snack
8 oz. V8 juice                  60                    0

Lunch
Peppers                          80                    0
carrots                           70                    0
dip                                 70                   5.2

Dinner
Potatoes                       145                   7
Chicken                        150                   8
Dip                               120                  10
1/2 Cucumber                 20                    0
8 oz V8 Juice                   60                    0 
Totals                                  1090                          31.1

There is definetly the possibility that I got in a few more calories and fat grams, but even if that is true, either way you look at it I still came in below my levels, so I am happy with it. Oops, I had an apple for snack a couple hours after lunch. Still, I don't think that puts my numbers up a whole lot, do you?

Well, tomorrow is another day and at least before the day is over I will be able to go shopping and stock up on some healthy food. I am starting to really look forward to all of this. It seems that all I do is eat, yet the calorie and fat intake is really low. This gives me more room to indulge myself just a bit. Perhaps I can have a little more of this or a little more of that, we shall see. One thing I want to have some of is fruit juices. I do love them but you are always hearing about how bad the sugars in them can be for you, something I never really understood. If you get real fruit juice there should be no added sugar. And how can that juice be bad for you if the fruit itself is supposed to be good? Either way, I intend to pick some up tomorrow. I am a sucker for both orange and apple juice, and maybe I'll try some different kinds in order to give myself more options.

Have a great night, I'll be back tomorrow.

Day 2 cont.

So I just ate my lunch..and it was really good too. I had 1/2 of a cucumber, carrot sticks, and pepper slices with light veggie dip and with that I had 8 oz. of V8 juice. Now I am going to have a slice of watermelon. For this meal I am not overly concerned about the calories because with all the veggies I had I really only need to count the fat grams. I know the veggie dip is 60 calories in 2 tablespoons with 5 grams of fat. I am sure I probably had at least 6 tablespoons of the dip. So thats about 15 grams of fat....along with the less than one gram I had for breakfast. As for the calories themselves, well, I figure about 60 - 80 for the veggies I ate, and there are 60 in the V8 juice. So that isn't too bad of a meal and I am stuffed. However, I feel like something sweet so that is where the watermelon comes in. It is way better for me than the Christmas candy that is sitting in my living room.

Also, I walked today, but only for 15 minutes. The reason for this is simple: Dr.'s orders. Because of all the physical  stuff I have been doing lately my back is now bothering me. My doctor told me to walk, but only until it bothers my back. I have walked longer in the past, but that was without doing all the other physical things that I have done the last few days. So, I am resting my back for the remainder of the day and maybe by the time I get home from work I will feel up to walking some more.

Now, I am off here to enjoy my watermelon before I have to head back to work in less than an hour.

Day 2

Yesterday, even though I did not have a difficult day as far as being hungry, I did realize that I had not gotten in more than 1000 calories. So, what I did was after I wrote up my entry I had another cup of grapes. This put me over 1000, but I really wasn't exactly hungry when I ate them. I need to spread the calories out over the day. Planning out my meals will help me in this. I am not going to let this get me down by any means. Instead, I will just take that step forward to make sure that I plan ahead and get in the calories I need, and not the ones that I WANT.

By doing that I made a change today. For breakfast I had a 6 oz. banana yogurt with 80 calories, 0 fat, 1 cup grapes with 110 calories, .3 g fat, 1/2 of an orange, 35 calories, .2 g fat, and a banana, 105 calories, .4 g fat. Then I had 8 oz of V8 juice which contains 60 calories, 0 fat. So my total so far today is 385 calories and less than a gram of fat. I think this is pretty good.

For lunch I plan to have some carrot sticks, peppers, and cucumbers with veggie dip and probably some watermelon and maybe an apple after that. If I have the time that is. Lunch is difficult because I get caught up in doing my school work and lose track of time. This is something I need to work on so that I make time for everything. I prefer to exercise in between my bus runs, but I have been thinking that I may have to start getting up earlier and doing it first thing in the morning. If I do it that way I have the opportunity for my metabolism to get jacked up before I have even begun my day. Also, it gives me the chance to get some extra walking in later in the day if I choose.

The other idea was to do it either right before dinner or right after. The problem with this is that I do not want to get my body going too close to bedtime because that can actually make it harder to get to sleep. I am going to try it both ways and see which I like best.

Fiber

So I realized today that I also need a decent amount of fiber in my diet. I found this website http://commonsensehealth.com/Diet-and-Nutrition/List_of_High_Fiber_Foods.shtml and it shows a list of high fiber foods. Unfortunately for me, I do not like a lot of these foods. However, there are some of these foods that I really do like. One of these is oatmeal. I also really like bran cereals, so I figure it may be in my best interest to pick some up. I already have some oatmeal in my cupboard.

A lot of the highest fiber vegetables are just things I don't like. But that is fine because I can make up for it in other ways. One way is by drinking V8 juice, which contains 5 grams of fiber in an 8 oz. glass. Since I really enjoy V8 juice this shouldn't be much of a problem. Not only that but neither my fiance or the kids like it, so when I buy it at least I get it all. That is what my snack for the moment is as well. :-)

Day 1 summary

Ok, so for breakfast I had a banana, about a cup of grapes, and 1/2 of an orange. For lunch I had 1/2 of a medium cucumber and about 1/4 of a pepper, a mixture of orange, red, and yellow peppers...and they were awesome. For dinner I had 2 fried chicken drumsticks, a medium potatoe with chicken gravy (I use the kind in the pouch because there is no fat and almost no calories..and I just like it), raw carrot sticks and raw peppers, this time with a ranch vege dip. And for a snack earlier I had a banana. I added up the calories for the day, and rounded UP just in case..sometimes I just add a few extra calories to every meal just to be on the safe side...and it came to a total of 925 calories. Again, it was probably up a bit from that, maybe up to 1000 since I did not actually measure each thing out, and medium this and that can differ, at least I think so.

So, I really should have taken in more calories for the day. However, I am stuffed right now so I don't have to worry about feeling hungry later. And if by some chance I DO feel hungry, well, I can grab some fruit.

Ok, so I made it through Day 1 and having the fruit in the house seems to make my fiance happy. He may not do vegetables, but he does love fruit. So far, so good. On to a new day!!

Calorie Counter

Ok, so I told you that I had a banana, about a cup of grapes, and half of an orange for breakfast. I found a calorie counter here: http://thecaloriecounter.com/Search.aspx and I am using the numbers from here to keep track.

Banana: 105 calories,  0.4 g fat
1 cup grapes: 110 calories, 0.3 g fat
1/2 orange: 35 calories, 0.2 g fat

So ok, I took in 250 calories, but less than a gram of fat. This is much better than taking in 250 calories and 25 g of fat, right?? Of course it is. These have got to be the better calories. Ok, so now that I know I took in 250 so far today, that leaves me with (and I am starting off with no more than 2000 calories a day I think) 1750 calories that I can still ingest today. Since I am having veges for lunch, I know I won't get them all in during that meal. That means, I am not so worried to have one piece of fried chicken tonight. Already I do not feel as though I am being deprived. In all actuality, I usually don't even eat a lot during the day anyway but they are all bad calories. For instance, I normally have a sausage, egg and cheese croissant for breakfast, then whatever I can scrounge up during the day, if anything, for lunch, then pig out for dinner because I haven't eaten decent all day. Right now I feel satisfied and not hungry. And since it is now 10:30 that means that I can soon eat again before I head out for work. Once I get going on this I want to be able to eat when I get up in the morning before I go to work. I have never really liked to eat that early, but I have heard it is better to eat within an hour of getting out of bed. May have to check up on that and see if it makes a difference. One thing I do like to do is take some V8 juice with me. I just didn't pick any up today, but maybe later.

Ok, time to go see just how many calories are in that fried chicken drumstick I plan to have for dinner. It MAY change my mind. LOL

Honesty...

Ok, so I just got home from my morning run (oops, just reread this and realized it sounds like I am going out to run every morning. No, I am a school bus driver and have just finished my morning bus run). I get up about 5:15 am and go to work and then get home about 9:30 then go back in at noon and get home about 3:45. So, this gives me just a couple hours during the day to get stuff done. Today I had to go up and pick up some stuff to eat. This morning I am having about a cup of grapes, a banana, and half of a navel orange. I got me some fresh vegetables for lunch and to have with my dinner. Tonight I will make fried chicken (yes I said fried chicken) and have a little bit of potatoes with it and my raw vegetables. My fiance will eat most of it, trust me. I am thinking that if I stick with just one chicken drumstick and have the rest as I've said then I won't do too bad. It is like I have said before, I have to do this slowly. What I am doing now might even be too much too soon, but only time will tell on that.

I have not yet found me a calorie counter but I am going to see about finding one today. That way I will be able to keep track of how many calories and fat, etc. that I consume in a day and be able to see what I need to cut down on or cut out completely. One good thing is that about 99% of the time I only drink water. I do have a hot chocolate now and then but I don't drink any soft drinks anymore. If we go out to eat I get a lemonade, so I figure in that area I am probably fairly safe.

Today I am going to take my measurements. This is why this post is called "Honesty" because I don't really want to post those amounts but if I am going to do this I must be honest, not only with myself, but with all of you as well. So, here goes:

Weight: 240 lbs.
Waist: 49 1/2" (done around my belly button)
Breast: 52"
Below Breast: 45"
Hips: 47"
Right Thigh: 23 1/2"
Left Thigh: 24"

You are probably a bit shocked about my measurements. Well, as for my thighs, I have always had small legs. I carry all my weight in my middle and I have no hips so those measurements there are fat, obviously. I am built, seriously, very "straight". Most women have hips that give them curves, I don't, never have. I am built like my mother. But it seems that all my weight ends up in the middle of me. That, and on my back. Ewwww I hate back fat. As you can see I have also added my weight in there. I was going to add my height to the stats just to give you a better idea of it all, but it seems odd to do that. So, I will just tell you here. I am 5'9" tall. So yea, I am tall, but that is really no excuse for my weight. Most people insist there is no way I  weigh what I say I do. Well, what they look at and think is hips, isn't, it is all fat.

So, anyway, I was totally honest about my measurements. Believe me, that didn't come easy for me. But I am going to try my darndest to stay as honest as possible. Right now it isn't so hard because no one has seen this blog except me, as far as I know anyway, but later when I know people are reading, it will get harder.

Still want to post a picture of me so you all can see exactly what I am talking about. Now that I am back to work and the kids are back in school, I have more privacy to go do that.

Also, this entry is called "Honesty" for another reason: I do not want people posting comments that tell me stuff that isn't true! Seriously. If you think I look like crap...say so. You won't hurt my feelings because I KNOW what I look like. I live with this body every day. Now later, if and when the weight starts coming off, sure I'd love some encouraging words like telling me I'm looking better. I am just told so often that "You're not fat" "You don't need to lose weight" etc. etc. That is a load of crap and we all know it. I know they say it because they care, but in the end it probably hurts me more than helps me. So, it's time to buck up and listen to the truth. I hope I will get that from any of you who post.

Thanks!!

Daily Calorie Counter

Ok, so I went online and found a few different daily calorie counters:

http://www.acefitness.org/calculators/daily-caloric-needs-calculator.aspx

2155 to maintain current weight

http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

2154 to maintain

1920 to lose

http://my.apexfitness.com/vip/fitness_calculators/daily_caloric_needs.php

2516 to maintain

http://www.active.com/fitness/calculators/calories.htm

2603 to maintain

As you can see they are all telling me that I can have over 2000 calories a day to maintain my weight. Well, that is NOT going to happen. First of all, I would have a tough time consuming that many calories while eating MANY more vegetables. And since that is my plan, I should easily be able to keep my caloric intake down. The problem is, I can't go TOO far down or my body will start conserving the fat on my body. This is why I will definitely keep some meat and fish in my diet. The last link tells me I can intake the highest amount of calories to maintain my current weight, but it also told me that to lose weight I should take in no more than 1800 calories. That didn't really surprise me.

For example, tonight I am making me a small portion of salmon on top of all of the different vegetables I had in my freezer. As I said earlier, I'm a bit broke after the holidays but I'm back to work tomorrow so before the end of the week I will be able to pick me up some much more desirable foods.

Well, this is not the BEST meal I've ever had, but it isn't the worst either. I am not real big on salmon but we had it in the house so that's what I'm eating. As long as I eat it with my broccoli I am much happier. I love broccoli.

So, as for how many calories that meal was, well, I'm not sure. But I am sure that it didn't come anywhere near my limit for the day. My day is almost over and chances are the only other thing I will have to eat (possibly) will be an 80 calorie yogurt cup. Tomorrow I will make much more effort to at least get in ENOUGH calories. I figure if I can aim for about 1800 calories a day, and walk on my treadmill and maybe even use my weights, then I should be able to begin losing weight. So, I need some veges and fruits.

Speaking of veges and fruits I also found a site that has some really delicious sounding smoothies. Right now I do not own a blender (in the past I had really no use for them) but it is looking like that is going to be one of my first investments. There is no reason why I can't make something as simple as a smoothie for at least one of my meals.

I have decided to try very hard to keep my breakfast and lunch meals to strictly vegetables and fruits. I may not always suceed, but if I don't try I'll never know. And then for dinner I will have a SMALL portion of whatever meat or fish I make for my fiance. In the end he may actually appreciate me doing this because he will get more homemade meals instead of the take out we have so very often. Being just the two of us on the weekdays, we tend to find it much easier to just order out. Not anymore!! That is one of my goals as well, to be able to make him more decent meals. Just because he is thin as a rail does not mean that he is necessarily healthy.

Keeping Track

So, today hasn't been the best day for any of this. No, I didn't pig out or anything, in fact quite the opposite. All I've had to eat today is some unsweetened apple sause sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. Only like 165 calories for the day because I also only drink water.

Oh well, keeping track of this stuff and seeing what I am doing will help me to make better choices. Still haven't gotten the treadmill into my bedroom but that will happen this week, even if I have to do it myself. Things around the house have been tense today so no sense in asking for help. I think my honey has decided to quit smoking. Oh yea, this should be fun...me trying to eat better and give up some of my favorite foods...and him giving up his cigarettes....lol this could get interesting.

Getting Ready

Ok, so now that I've made my decision to do this, there are a few things that I have to do in order to get started. No, this is not one of those "It's New Year's, let's make a resolution we can break later" deals. This is for real. So, in order to suceed, I believe I must first prepare. Being that this is just after the holidays and I have been out of work for a couple weeks because of it, I do not have the cash on hand to run out and stock up on veges and diet food. What I can do is start researching. Yes, you read that right, I need to do research. I am one of those people who is not a huge vegetable eater but I know that I will need to eat them...a lot..if this is going to happen.

So, the first thing I have done is go online and try to find some different way to do vegetables that I will like. I would also like to try some that I have never tried..who knows, I just might like them. My fiance is not a vegetable eater. He won't eat anything green; he says he's not a "cow" and does not need to eat grass. So...this is basically up to me. However, because he does not care for vegetables, that means that I can eat whatever I like of them and I don't have to worry about whether he will like them or not...because he won't. LOL

I also want to check out a calorie counter website. That way I will know what the calories are of the foods I eat. Also a fat counter, for the same reason. As I said earlier, I intend to keep track of everything I eat and drink. I have lost weight in the past, and that is how I managed it so well...by keeping track of everything. That is my biggest suggestion to anyone who wants to lose weight: Find out how many calories you need in a day and keep track of everything so you know!!!

I would also like to find some exercises that I can handle doing. I drive for 6 or more hours a day, so obviously I sit a lot. I also go to school online, so yea, more sitting. However, there has to be something I can work on during some of my "spare" moments. I am afraid that one commitment I will have to make will have to be to spend less time online doing things like Facebook. But, if that is what it takes, and if I can manage my time well enough so that I can get everything done, I should still be able to get some time for Facebook. LOL After all, I can't give up  EVERYTHING or I'll undoubtedly fail. One step at a time, that is how I have to do this.

I have written a bunch of stuff in a notebook that I want to research and before I get into this entirely, those things will have to be done first. However, I see this as my first big step--announcing my decision. This is not as easy as it sounds simply because of all the failures I have had. But I do not want to give up on this, and I figured this is a good way to do it. So, tomorrow is Sunday and school starts up again on Monday so tomorrow I will need to do some research. I will post some of the stuff I find.

Later!!

A New Year, An Old Dream

So, today is January 1, 2011, and the start of not just a new year, but hopefully a new me.

My name is Michelle, and I am hoping that by keeping this blog/journal that I can get the inspiration that I need to lose weight. I also hope that in doing this that perhaps I can also inspire others.

I am 46 years old, and I really need to lose weight. As of today, and as of this moment, I weigh 240 pounds. That is PATHETIC!! I hate the way I look, and I hate the way I feel. However, I fully intend to be as honest about everything here as I can possibly be. This won't be easy for me because there is so much about my lifestyle that I am, frankly, not proud of. For instance, how in the world did I ever let myself get this big?? How? Because I am lazy. Plain and simple. Also, I am not happy with the way my house looks, and therefore I do not even want to get up and do things.

So today I began my journey. I began with cleaning out some of the things in this cluttered house that I am just so sick of looking at. That is just step one. There will be so much more to come....as long as I stick with it. I am hoping that by doing this blog that it will give me the incentive to do it, if for no other reason that just because I have made it so potentially public. I wanted to post a "before" picture, and may do that as soon as I figure out how.

Right now, no one knows that I have started this journal. No one knows that I have begun this JOURNEY except for me and my fiance. And for the time being that is how I intend to keep it. I have found that if others know, whether it is my kids, my family, or my co-workers, everyone tries to be supportive but in the end it usually just makes it more hard on me when I fail. This time I talked to my fiance and asked him for his support, which he has always been so very good at giving, and he, as usual, has agreed. Knowing what a wonderful man I have in my life helps. I know he loves me for me, but I also know that he would not worry so much about me if I lost the weight.

The reason this entry is entitled "A New Year, An Old Dream" is simply because I have tried in the past and failed. I am hoping that this time I will have more success. Do I expect to lose 100 pounds in a year? Absolutely not. In the past that was one of my biggest issues: I expected too much of myself. This time, thanks to a blog I found on here, http://losingweightafter45isabitch.blogspot.com/ , I have differnt expectations. I need to stop expecting the same results that I got before I turned 40, and realize that I am older now and my body is not what it was back then. The writer of this blog has already inspired me, and I will continue to read her blog and hope that I can obtain as much insight as possible to help me along my journey. So, although I do not know her name I want to thank her because her blog, what I have read of it so far, has been a help to me and giving me the nudge I needed to try again.

In this blog I am going to use it as my Weight Loss Diary. I am going to keep track of my food, calories, fat intake, etc. Also, I am going to keep track of my exercise. I have a bad back and bad knees, but I can still walk, and walk I shall do. That was my first move toward this goal today was to clean out my bedroom so that I could put my treadmill in there where I have more opportunities to use it. I initially had it out in the living room area so that I could watch tv while I walked, but I have to turn the tv up too loud and it disturbs my fiance, so I want it in the other room where I can turn up the tv and also not feel self-concious doing my workouts.

I hope others will follow me and help inspire me as I hope I can inspire them. Let's see if I can start today and continue on my journey with some success. As I said earlier, I do not expect to lose 100 pounds in a year, in fact, I have set no numerical goal. My "goal" is to lose weight, plain and simple. If I start seeing some of the weight coming off, then perhaps I will set a realistic goal for myself. Until then, it is just going to be to start to change my eating habits and my exercise habits.

So, Happy New Year everyone and let's hope we all succeed in our endeavors. Thanks for joining me.